February 27–Search me, O God…and be gentle!

God knows everything about us. God knows our actions, our reactions, our words and even our deepest impulses and hidden thoughts. Yet, even though God knows all of this about us, we are still to intentionally, and regularly, invite God in to search our hearts. 

We can be sure that God’s RSVP to that invitation will always be, “YES!”

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24 

Personal Reflections from Sylane:                                                                           God calls us to invite Him into every portion of our thinking and acting. God is to have full access–top security clearance (okay, I may be watching a bit too much”24)–to review our life and our behavior to the minutest of details.

Since God already knows everything about us, why do we have to invite Him in to look at us in such an intense way? Read the Scripture verse again.

When we invite God in to review, inspect and interrogate our hearts, our thoughts and our ways:

  • We are, first, agreeing with God that He has the authority to do so.
  • God blesses the authentic humility of our hearts as we make this acknowledgement.
    • Through humility we place ourselves in the right relational position with our Almighty Lord. Oh! Humility is the sweetest, safest, most powerful place we could ever be with our Lord!
  • And there we are blessed with the intimacy of our God who takes our hand and leads us in His eternal, life-cleansing and life-freeing way!
    • Following and walking with our God, according to His everlasting way, puts us in the right transformational position to know God’s power–in ways beyond our highest hopes or imaginations.

I truly do want to experience this full intimate, authority of God in my life. But, ooooh, the cleansing, correcting and redirecting process that must take place within my heart–and throughout my thoughts and actions–can be pretty rough.

So! Whenever I pray this prayer–and it is often. (And it needs to be often!) I always add just a little bit more:

Search my heart, O God…and be gentle!

I have honestly found that the more often I ask God to really dig, reveal and cleanse me of all my anxious thoughts and all my offensive ways, the more gentle God is able to be with me.

Oh, sometimes I need (and get!) the full sand-blasting power of God’s correction to get through to me, so that I will see myself as He sees me. At other times (I hope these will become more the norm), God is able to use a polishing cloth to remove the dullness and dimness of heart and my ways.

One of the lessons God has given me over the years and even very recently over the last few weeks–and it has been throughout all those times more sand-blasting than just a polishing cloth to make me shine more for Jesus–is:

I Must Be More Sensitive to the Sensibilities of Others.   And for me that means, and has meant:

Do not hug a non-hugger, and certainly never pick them up and twirl them around, no matter how happy you are for them!

Allow NON-morning-people to be withdrawn and grumpy without trying to change them or taking it personally.

Recognize that individuals–and even whole groups–because of their unfamiliarity with me may completely misjudge me. I have a basic assumption that we in the Body of Christ, even if strangers at first, automatically love and trust each other. This isn’t true. And so my warmth, enthusiasm, passion for God and God’s Word and love for people can be seen as crossing all kinds of boundaries. And I am learning (and need to put more into practice):

Let the reserved stay reserved (I’ll just love on them more quietly and from a safer physical and emotional distance for them).

Give the skeptics who need time to discern and judge my authenticity their necessary time to judge my character. And realize that I may still be be misjudged. That’s okay. I trust myself to God alone to truly know my heart. “My salvation and my honor depend on God.”–Psalm 62:7 

So, yes, my Lord, search me. I want to be your child. I want to be your woman. And ABBA, when you go deep…please be gentle.

In love, peace and purposeful passion,                                                               Sylane

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