I’M TOO LITTLE TO BE SO BIG!

Oh, Abba! I’m too little to be so big! That’s what I call out (cry out, shout out, whimper out, sigh out) to my God whenever I feel like life is just a little too much for me to handle.

I care so much about so many people – those dearest ones in our family of six, our two Compassion Children, our extended family members on all sides, including all the family members of our two sons-in-love, our closest friends who truly are family to us, and all those with whom, and to whom, I minister. I want God’s very best for each one – for their physical, mental, emotional, relational and spiritual health. I want so very much, and pray so very much, for them all. Oh, Jesus! You know they all need You! You know all else they need, too! But! I’ll be happy to remind You! Oh, Abba! I’m too little to be so big!

I can get physically worn down from wearing so many hats while ministering. I absolutely love my job, and could never imagine doing anything else. Still, sometimes trying to lovingly serve-lead the ministry and manage the constant, varied and traveling demands on me is just plain, well, demanding. I find myself trying to maintain some bizarre kind of balance which, on certain days, lies somewhere in the midst of intense multi-tasking, multiple time zones and multiple personalities! Oh, Abba! I’m too little to be so big!

You know what? Sometimes I just get really tired of having to be mature or, at least, act as if I’m mature regardless of how I may be feeling at that moment. Thank you, God, for being ever-present to snap the stupidity and immaturity right out of me, if I let you! But, Ouch! It’s just so tiring and hard to constantly choose God’s maturity when I just want to stomp my feet, yell really loudly, punch something or someone! Oh, Abba! I’m too little to be so big!

Well, you know what? Every time I call out to God (cry out, shout out, whimper out, sigh out) Oh, Abba! I’m too little to be so big!, I hear God absolutely agreeing with me:

You are too little to be so big! Stop trying to be so big, so balanced and mature on your own. You can’t do it! Get over yourself! Seek Me. Look to Me. I Am Bigger. I am bigger than any concern you may have for your family, friends and all those to whom you minister. I am able to meet the biggest needs any of them could ever have. (And thanks for the offer to remind Me, but I’ve got it covered!) I am bigger than any balance you may try to find on your own. I am bigger than any of your feelings, and will give you deep peace and true maturity as you rely on Me, My Word and My Way. Let your perspective of Me get bigger. As you do, the demands you sense to be on you alone will get smaller. As I get bigger in your perspective, My strength and power will renew you even when you are most weak, weary and worn out.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.                – Isaiah 40:28-31

Oh, Abba! It’s so good to be so little because You are so BIG!